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The Rules by which females are governed

The FEMALE always makes the rules.

The RULES are subject to change at any time without prior notification...by the FEMALE.

No MALE can possibly know all the RULES.

If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows all the RULES, she must immediately change some or all of them.

The FEMALE is never wrong.

If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.

The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.

The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.

The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.

The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.

The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

The Male is expected to "mind read" at all times.

The MALE who doesn't abide by THE RULES; can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp!

Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

The FEMALE is ready when SHE is ready.

The MALE must be ready at ALL times 



HUSBAND AND WIVES JOKES
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.


A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!"
The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?"
She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"


A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"


Two women friends meet on the street, but they haven't seen each other for years. As they are talking one women notices that her friend has a 5 carat diamond ring, and says "My what a magnificent ring." Her friend relies, "Yes, it is, but unfortunately it comes with a curse. It comes
with my husband!"

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.




RIDDLES


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What did the boy light bulb say to the girl light bulb on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy snake say to the girl snake on Valentine's Day?
What did the little boy sheep say to the little girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
What did the little girl sheep say to the little boy sheep on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle on Valentine's Day?
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus on Valentine's Day?
Is it better to write a love note on an empty stomach or on a full stomach?
What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
What type of flowers should you never give on Valentine's Day?
If your Aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
 

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